I found the following letter..

“Ms D, I have been disrupting the class in have been talking all day. i will be gooder then i was Bab This everning and I will not talk or disrupting the class and disrupting other student or talking about lilcegret (Lekedric) head.  I am going to chrie to be gooder then today all this week and i am solre about this supmester. even badter which i know i can not do which I am going to chrie to do which I know i can not do hhhh!!! I am going to chrie to be good all year. from: Lamarcus.

This boy breaks my heart. He needs needs needs love, and maybe if he got that he wouldn’t need to be medicated (not that he takes it anyway.) After writing me this letter, he was gone the rest of hte week. he’s missed at least 20 days of school this year. I talked to my principal about the fact that i should really retain him and her response was “yes but…we’ve had him 2 years, and i don’t want him anymore.” I asked her how we would really get around his 4 F’s and she said “try hard to make them D’s…”

The thing is, his behavior has improved astronomically this year (he’s only been written up….5 times? I GREATLY favor him in class, this causes problems, but the kid is just a disaster).  My principal knows this, his aunt (the only person in his family I can get a hold of, even though he doesn’t live with her…) and I honestly think if i can just….get in his head and get him to realize he’s going to make it. He can make it. I’d happily retain him and have him in my class again (illegal most places, but….this is Arkansas. It happens.) I’m not sure I can convince my principal, but we’ll see what his benchmark scores are. I showed him his report card and he started crying and I asked him what he thought about if he had to get held back and he told me that he’d rather stay with me than go to middle school. He just really needs so much that I cannot provide, but I’m his TEACHER. Can’t I at least get a do-over with him?
All this aside, spring break was MAGICAL, my nasa experiment was a great success (seriously, my kids still don’t know they weren’t working for NASA and as far as i’m concerned, they’ll never know.) I have 8 weeks left of teaching, 2 before the benchmark test. Technically, the benchmark takes a week, so I only have 7 weeks. Some of those weeks aren’t even full weeks. I’m basically done.

I feel very goal oriented right now in a good way, even though I’ve done no work for the past week. This is probably why I have not started to panic. Today, instead of working, I cleaned my room and the office. Once I dive back in, there’s no resurfacing until May 22.

Wish me luck that I can hold my breath.